To all my fellow Americans I want to wish you all a MERRY CHRISTMAS!
I am a Jan 6th defendant Samuel Lazar #56948509. I can't speak about my case but would like to let you know a little about me and the struggles I've had since my incarceration on July 26th 2021. I have never been in a situation like this. As you can imagine it's not natural to go from a civilized world and thrown in the complete chaos of prison life, where you never have a moment of peace. I am a father of two beautiful, smart, loving children, a 13 year old son and a 14 year old daughter they're my life! Everything I do is for them. As any father/parent I want the best future possible for my children and so I work everyday of my life sun up to sun down to make sure I can provide a great life and future for my children. Back in 2009/2010 I fell off a roof about 2 stories high and injured my spine, I have 3 herniated discs, the doctor said I would never or should never lift more then 60 pounds again. Being a carpenter by trade which involves heavy lifting and back breaking work I felt crushed and concerned for my future, my children's future. How was I going to support them and give them a great life? After cortisol injections in my spine which helped I began to get the idea that nothing is impossible and that no matter what was thrown my way I refused to listen to the limitations the doctor put on me. I found myself unemployed after my fall as I was discarded for my now damaged spine, I was left to figure out what to do to get myself on my feet and take care of my family. I decided to to become an entrepreneur through gig work. Fast foreword to 2018 I had purchased a property and spent 3 years gutting it and did a complete renovation. Just as I finished it I was arrested and one month later while in prison I sold it. All my profits and hard work went out the window directly to money hungry lawyers, who saw someone in need of help and robbed me blind! I never got to enjoy the fruits of my labor, they took my profits in the blink of an eye. 18 months in prison and now I am in dire distress, Christmas is only 10 days away as of this letter and I am forced between going without future commissary and getting my children something for Christmas, be it cash or presents. I was lucky to have friends and family help with some commissary a little while back but they to are struggling and so I am left to plead my case to the American people in hopes that some folks have the means to help. Prison has taken a toll on my mental health, my family and my children. I am a happy go lucky person who loves to laugh and surround myself with positive people who think likewise. I am a Christian who enjoys attending church every Sunday morning to praise the lord and rejuvenate my soul, something i miss dearly! I haven't been able to get that spiritual healing in over 18 months, instead I've been in slow torment in my head. I do my best to show a positive outside and act as if I am not bothered but this experience has left me bearing what feels like the weight of the world on my shoulders. I feel like I am slowly suffocating and in need of help, financial help would help alleviate the anxiety I have from bills, commissary needs and to help with my children. I never asked anyone for help in my life and feel very awkward asking but I see no other option then to appeal to my fellow Americans in my time of need. Some of the struggles of prison life include being locked down 23/7 or even 24 hours a day for up to 3 days straight at a time throughout the covid lockdowns in prison. At times only allowed out for a shower 2-3 times a week, fed through a porthole like an animal, kept in dimly lit cell with poor ventilation in solitary for "my health". I caught covid in prison at Warsaw in Virginia last Christmas, when I asked for help/doctor they ignored me. I had a high fever that would keep me up at night sweating and shivering, I felt like 100 knives were stabbing my lungs and making it hard to breath. I had many unpleasant things that go along with the virus bathroomwise, I was so dizzy and felt like falling at times, I lost 20 pounds in 2 weeks, I lost my ability to taste for 1 month and all throughout this time I was begging to get some medication or see a doctor and they refused me. I sent out 7-8 "cop-outs" which are forms requesting a doctor to see me, they kept sending them back denying me medical. For the first time in my life I felt I was going to die from lack of medical attention. Since my incarceration I've been in solitary lock downs combined somewhere around 3 months or so. Solitary confinement is detrimental to a persons mental health, its cruel and unusual. At one point I was put in a cell in a jail in philly for 3 months that had no running faucet water. They had an ice machine on the block which is where I got my water to use for brushing my teeth, washing my face and hands in the morning. I would use milk cartons, fill it with ice which would melt and provide me clean water in the cell. At Warsaw in Virginia they do not provide proper hygiene. When you get there they don't give you shower slippers, boxers, shirts, cups etc. All these things need to be purchased off commissary which can take 1-2 weeks from arriving depending on if you missed commissary or didn't get your money in time. While you wait with the same underwear, t-shirt and no shower shoes for 1-2 weeks you are forced to live in filth basically. Showers are filthy and shoes are necessary for entering the shower, I had to dig in trash for some Styrofoam food boxes to stand on in the shower. When I was thirsty I had to cup my hands together to drink from the faucet which is filthy from being shared with 80 other men in an open dorm setting. 5 toilets shared between 80 men which were filthy at all times including feces on the ground. The food at Warsaw was not more then 500 -600 calories a day by my estimation. They gave us 1 piece of nasty slime baloney multiple times a day and extremely small portions, the portions would be ok for a toddler not a grown man. Every man that leaves Lewisburg and goes to Warsaw that comes back after 2-4 weeks looks emaciated like they lost 10-20 pounds easily! Here at Lewisburg I must say has been the better of all the others however even here until last month or so when a new warden took over we were kept inside for the last year, the outside which was not everyday consisted of going into cages like animals for 1 hour, again imagine looking up at the sky through a cage... luckily the new warden decided that was inhumane and let us out on the open yard and for that I am grateful. Now I can look up at the sky 1 hour a day without anything between me and the blue skies, run around a track, work out and release some pressure. When I did quarantine which is lockdowns 24 hours a day except for 15 min shower every other day I would have to bend over backwards push my hands out of the food port and be handcuffed, taken in handcuffs to the shower locked in a cage and again push my hands out the shower port to have the cuffs taken off, treated like some type of murderer. All dignity is stripped, you begin to feel it in every possible way. when visit time comes I am subjected to complete strip search both before visit and after a visit and during visit you are separated by plexiglass even now after the cares act was lifted. As you can imagine this take a toll on a persons mental and emotional state. Luckily I am a strong minded man but even I crack at times. Another time while at Warsaw I had a legal visit and when I came back my bin of food/commissary was all stolen which left me hungry till next commissary week, because the food wasn't enough to hold me over. If I was lucky I would get an extra piece of bread off someone else's discarded tray. These are just some of the horrors I've been subjected to and on top of all that being ripped off my money hungry lawyers who treat me like crap just so they can hurry up and finish with you instead of actually caring about your case. Missing my children, my family and my sweet heart is further torment. Losing my ability to earn a living for myself and my family and going into debt over 45K at this point. I now have my credit messed up due to defaulted credit cards, unpaid bills, rent and struggling to survive in prison has beaten me down. I heard about Cathy and others that collect funds to supposedly pass along to us j6 defendants, I did reach out to Cathy and never saw one penny. I have not received money from any j6 fund from all the donations given by people to these funds. I want to state that giving money to funds rather then directly to each inmate j6er is a waste. When it comes to money people are corrupt and greedy almost always those in need never see a dime or get scraps. I have stayed quiet the entire time I've been in prison because I don't like complaining or putting my problems in the spotlight or on others, but I can no longer keep quiet in my dire situation and hope that my plea to the American people for some financial help will be answered by some. If you feel you can help in any little way you can make a donation to my givesendgo.com/g2923 or directly to my commissary account here at Lewisburg prison. Thankfully God has kept me sane and strong for the most part. This Christmas is even harder then last christmas which was the first christmas I was ever seperated from my children. I haven't seen my daughter since I was incarcerated and only saw my son once. My daughter is afraid to come see me inside a prison and their mother only brought my son once, me and their mother parted ways in 2018 she claims to be busy all the time. There is nothing better then to see the smile on your children's faces on Christmas morning and their eyes light up with joy....this will be the second Christmas I am denied my children, my family and my children denied thier loving father. It hurts as a father to not see your children on a regular basis nevermind on Christmas which means a lot to me and my family. Here is a webpage that was created for me https://xenabeauty1208.wixsite.com/mysiteI will end this here, thank you for taking the time to read my story and my plea for help. God bless you all, I wish you and your families a MERRY CHRISTMAS! God bless AMERICA!Also thank you to all who has sent Christmas cards and pictures it's brought me joy.
Samuel Lazar
Samuel Lazar56948-509USP LEWISBURGU.S. PENITENTIARY
P.O. BOX 1000
LEWISBURG, PAÂ 17837