Sept 1st. A recent letter

My name is Samuel Lazar I am a January 6th defendant.

Have you ever wished to be set free it hurts? Have you ever wished you could just open your refrigerator and eat whatever you want when you're hungry? Have you ever been so hungry your stomach sticks to your ribs and just have to settle for a cup of water to fill you? Have you ever wished you could look out a window just to see a tree, grass, or a blue sky? Have you ever wished you could see the stars at night?

Have you ever wished to hug and kiss your children but couldn't because you are in a cage and can't get out? Have you ever wished to not have to share two toilets with 80 men? Have you ever wished to go outside more than one hour one time a week? Have you ever wished to sleep with the lights off? Have you ever wished to talk to your loved ones up close rather than through glass?

Have you ever missed your children so much it makes you cry?

Have you ever missed watching your kids grow up more than a year? Have you ever been away from the one who holds your heart without being able to hold them for more than 30 seconds in over a year? Have you ever wished to feel the soft earth and green grass underneath your bare feet? Have you ever been locked in a room 10x6 24/7 only coming out three times a week for a 10-minute shower? Have you ever slept next to your toilet bowl? Have you ever been forced to eat your breakfast lunch and dinner next to your toilet or on it? Have you ever had to live in a 10x6 closet that doubles as a bathroom and use the toilet while your roommate is laying two feet from you? Have you ever had to be humiliated by stripping naked and bending over for a visual inspection every time you get a visit both coming and going? Have you ever gotten sick with covid and we're told not to leave your 10x6 closet and denied access to medical help or medication? Have you ever had to hold your despair and emotions inside because your environment doesn't permit you to release it? Have you ever wished God would free you from your chains? Have you ever wished to just be productive? Have you ever wished you could just go buy a slice of pizza? Have you ever slept in a room with so many criminals of various different crimes and drug problems that they don't sleep at night instead run around the room playing cards and simply making noise all night? Have you ever had to worry about your commissary being stolen while sleeping? Have you ever been denied the right to make a phone call for 9 days? Have you ever had to wear the same dirty underwear shirt and pants with no deodorant for one week? Have you ever had to use your hands to drink water for over 1 week from a faucet? Have you ever had to pick rat turds out of your food before you eat it? Have you ever had to eat bologna for breakfast and dinner sometimes without bread? Have you ever had roaches and mice swarm around you while you are sleeping? Have you ever had to witness people brutally attack each other in your living room or place of residence with stick sharp objects etc.? Have you ever had to be stuck in a 10x6 closet with a bunk bed, toilet, sink, and roommate that smokes deuce a chemical that is sprayed on paper that gets them high without any open window or ventilation causing hallucination?

Have you ever wondered if you may get stabbed in the neck or body while you sit and watch TV? Have you ever wished you can go into a quiet room and have peace for at least 5 minutes.

Have you ever wished to take a shower without having to wear sandals on your feet? Have you ever wished to not have to back up to your cell door backwards crouch down stick your hands out from your food port and have handcuffs squeeze to your wrists just to be transported to the shower and then locked up in a cage that is the shower? Have you ever wished to have ac when you're stuck inside a 10x6 cell 24/7 while it's 95 plus degrees outside? Have you ever had to use a 10-in sink to shower in because you can't take the b.o from sweating in your 95° cell without a shower for 2 days? Have you ever been locked in a 10x6 room and complete isolation from other human contact for 17 days at a time? Have you ever wished you could get more than one hour outside per day? Have you ever wished your 1 hour per day could be outside of a cage? Have you ever wanted to drink clean water? Have you ever wanted to have a running faucet of hot and cold water instead of having to fill milk cartons with cold water to brush your teeth and wash your face? Have you ever been scared to death to catch hepatitis from the filth all around you? Have you ever been afraid you may have a medical emergency and no one is there to assist you and you could die? Have you ever been forced to hold your urine rather than urinate on yourself for more than 4 hours in order to keep yourself from dehumanizing yourself and your bladder feels like it's going to burst? Have you ever tried to talk to your loved ones but we're told you are not allowed? Have you ever had to sleep, eat, and live in a hostile environment that could erupt in violence at any moment? Have you ever had to share a nail clipper with 80 men? Have you ever slept next to murderers? Have you ever had to live with people that told you they are there incarcerated because they have killed people? Have you ever wished you can go to church on Sundays just like everyone else? Have you ever wished you could use the bathroom in a 4-Hour car ride but we're told you're not allowed to and must hold it in? Have you ever wished you could hold your children and tell them how much you love them? Have you ever had to sign papers that ask you to put the name and number of a loved one in case you die in their facility? Have you ever been swabbed for DNA and told it is so your family can identify your body? Have you ever had to urinate while your hands are in cuff shackled to a chain around your waist and shackles on your ankles on a moving bus? Have you ever wanted to breathe fresh air? Have you ever served in a prison penitentiary before you were convicted of a crime?

I have it's been the worst experience of my life however thanks to all the support from my family, my community, my church, my sweetheart, and random folks along with God's good grace I have kept my optimism unless at this point I've lost my mind I am still in good spirits most of the time.

I want to thank everyone from the bottom of my heart for your caring, loving support, I love you all, I love my country, and I love my God! When you feel you can't remember God always has all things working out and all things are possible with God. I also want to say these experiences I have been through were at all the various different jails and prisons I have been at.

Also I realize a lot of you grunts, combat vets, and military personnel have wished many of these items I have listed as well and for that I thank you and salute you for your service.

Samuel Lazar